Whenever I go to networking events or present my work to people always get asked the same question:
What is your number one confidence tip then?
Sometimes this can be a bit annoying, of course I can compress years of learning, personal and professional experience into one sound byte for you...
BUT, I do have a pretty smart arse answer...
That's right, my number one tip for confidence is to develop self awareness. Not necessarily what people are expecting.
There are a huge number of reasons why self-awareness will be beneficial to your confidence so I am going to present my top three reasons why you should work on it!
By the way, Self-awareness has to be done carefully with as little judgement and emotion as possible. Think of yourself as a kind assessor that can only give constructive feedback on your personal set of pros and cons.
Have you ever had someone react to something you have said or done in a way you weren't expecting? It's a horrible feeling!!
Self-awareness helps you to understand how you do or say things and how that may come across to others.
I have had instructors or teachers tell me that they feel their students have become quite negative and they don't know why they have changed. Improving self-awareness would allow that instructor to consider how they may have created negative feelings within their students.
The epic thing about self-awareness is that by understanding your own role in situations that you are not happy with, you can then have control over that!
The teacher in the example above instead of complaining about their students could ask "how have I managed to make them feel this way".
By controlling and taking an objective self-awareness approach to your own actions you can then change those actions to get the result that you want.
Knowledge of abilities
one of the great aspects of self-awareness is fully understanding what you are good at and what you would like to improve on. Those are the only options by the way, we will have none of the "I am crap at..." talk.
Try making a list of:
The reason this is so great for confidence is that you can fully know if you are going to do something well or not. If you know you are not going to do it well then you can take steps to improve!
Self-awareness helps you have purpose as you can know what you want, what fulfills you and what makes you happy.
By being aware of these things you can make goals and plans in life that allow you to have a purpose!
If you know what you want then you can make plans to go and get it, if you know what fulfills you then you can find a regular time to engage in those activities and if you know what makes you happy then you have things to do that lift your mood.
How incredible would it be to live like this???
How confident would you feel if your life was made up of things that you want, find fulfilling and make you happy???
OK, so how?
How do we build self-awareness, much of the work is done on attitude. You have to take an open minded and objective approach to the things that you think, feel and do.
Here are a few suggestions:
If you need help building self-awareness and working towards a happier and more fulfilling life then get in touch.
I take appointments at my clinic in Andover, Hampshire, UK and I also provide skype or google hangouts consultations for those further afield.
You can also find out more about how negative thoughts are holding you back with this FREE worksheet download
The way we think has a huge impact on our mental health. If you are looking to overcome your anxiety or just improve your mental health then first you need to know what thoughts are making things worse.
This download gives you a list of the most common ways we think negatively. All you need to do is see which ones you do most.
Also, keep an eye on your emails! I will be sending you a really useful video that goes with this exercise.