When we doubt our abilities we hold ourselves back so much!!
There are many reasons why we may have developed doubts in ourselves so here are some suggestions that I have found work with both myself and also my clients...
Stop comparing accomplishments with others.
Number one in my book is to stop comparing yourself to others. I didn't get my degree until I was 30 years old, most of my friends got their degrees at the "normal" age. It really didn't matter that I got mine at a different time because I did it when it was right for me.
By comparing yourself unfavorably with others, you are opening the doors to feelings of inadequacy.
Ultimately everyone is on their own journey through life and will have ups and downs just like you so focus on what works best for you!!
Decide not to give a stuff what other people think.
This is hard to do but is so important for overcoming self doubt. Generally we worry what people think because we are scared of being judged.
Decide you don't give a stuff!!!
People will always judge but who cares??? Their judgments are theirs alone and don't have to have anything to do with you.
Try not to overthink decisions.
When we overthink decisions we invariably open our minds to negative self talk. Especially big decisions, we allow our fears to stop us from deciding to do what we really want.
Thoughts like; what if i goes wrong? or; I won't be able to do it, are sure fire ways to overthink the decision and choose not to.
Often people put off making a decision until it's made for them and then feel trapped by circumstances.
So, give yourself permission to change your mind and make a decision quickly. You can always change the path once you get started on it!!
Learn to control thoughts
Our thoughts link to our feelings and ultimately our actions. If you have self doubt then you have negative thoughts about yourself and your abilities in certain situations. These thoughts lead you to feel sad or low and over time contribute towards a negative self image.
A useful cognitive behavioral therapy technique is the STOPP process:
Stop: Notice that you are having negative thoughts
Take a breath: Use hypnosis or mindfulness to focus on breathing
Observe: Consider what is really going on in this situation
Perspective: Consider is there another way of looking at this? What would you say to a friend?
Practice: Do what works for you to make yourself feel better techniques such as positive affirmations or positive visualisation are great places to start.
Remember that nobody cares.
Sounds harsh but honestly, people really don't care that much. People are busy with their own lives and journeys and really don't have the time and energy to constantly judge your actions.
Even people who do judge what you do are likely to move on and forget about it pretty quick.
Avoid mind reading.
mind reading is a common thing that we all do occasionally but especially when we doubt ourselves.
Thinking we know what other people are thinking about us, especially negative thoughts, can cause issues for our self esteem.
People tend to be mainly preoccupied with themselves so thinking that someone must think you are stupid is likely to be untrue. Even if someone behaves negatively towards you, it could well be because of some drama in their life that's stressing them out.
Everyone messes stuff up. EVERYONE.
Even the people who you think are perfect and successful at everything make mistakes that they kick themselves for.
Failure is an opportunity for growth and learning so accept that it happens, and congratulate yourself for how much you have learnt!
This is an epic way of overcoming self doubt, especially if you can draw in friends or family to celebrate with you.
Celebrate in whatever way works for you, your lifestyle and your budget. It could be as simple as telling a loved one what you have achieved or making a conscious effort to acknowledge it for yourself all the way to a big expensive holiday for an epic promotion.
Whatever it is, make sure you celebrate it!!!