Something that gets asked regularly in 1 to 1 session is:
"How can I learn to be confident when I have never felt it before?"
Good question right? how would that person know what it feels like!
In an ideal world when working with clients they are able to think back to a time when they felt confident. We can then use visualisation, meditation and self hypnosis tools to help build on that and improve their confidence.
For some people though, they tell me they have never felt it before so how are these people able to dramatically improve their confidence?
Discovering your confidence
if you have never felt confident before it can be tricky to imagine a future with confidence so as a therapist, I start with the basics.
Therapists are trained to ask very high quality and specific questions that are designed to help people consider themselves in a different way.
This means that I can find something that makes that person feel good about themselves.
If this describes you, or you are just curious, ask yourself these questions now:
What qualities do you have that could help you be more confident?
What have you done at any point in your life which benefited you?
The answers might just surprise you, we can always find something....
Don't think too big
There seems to be this idea that confident people have done huge things in their lives which make them really confident. In some cases that may be true but for the large majority of people, it really can be the little things.
Maybe you are a great parent, maybe you are good at staying calm in a situation, maybe you cook something really well.
IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!
It doesn't matter what it is as long as you feel good and confident doing it!
There is no "correct" confidence
Confidence is personal and internal to you. you cant just learn a series of behaviours and attributes that make you confident. You might fake it pretty convincingly but you wont BE it.
Having discovered aspects of ourselves that are confident, we can then build on this. Take advantage of the situations that make you feel good and use that feeling to help propel you forwards.
Start to slightly push your comfort zone and then overcome the natural nervousness and anxieties. Notice that you achieved more than you thought you would and draw on that confidence.
Then push again!!!!
Anyone can learn
Seriously!! Anyone can learn to be confident.
Why don't you start today?
Join the online Anxiety2Confidence community for just £5 for your first month!!