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How could you learn to be confident?

Uncategorized Oct 31, 2019

Something that gets asked regularly in 1 to 1 session is:

"How can I learn to be confident when I have never felt it before?"

Good question right? how would that person know what it feels like!

Remembering confidence

In an ideal world when working with clients they are able to think back to a time when they felt confident. We can then use visualisation, meditation and self hypnosis tools to help build on that and improve their confidence.

For some people though, they tell me they have never felt it before so how are these people able to dramatically improve their confidence?

Discovering your confidence

if you have never felt confident before it can be tricky to imagine a future with confidence so as a therapist, I start with the basics.

Therapists are trained to ask very high quality and specific questions that are designed to help people consider themselves in a different way.

This means that I can find something that makes that person feel good about themselves.

If this describes you, or you are just curious, ask yourself these questions now:

What qualities do you have that could help you be more confident?

What have you done at any point in your life which benefited you?

The answers might just surprise you, we can always find something....

Don't think too big

There seems to be this idea that confident people have done huge things in their lives which make them really confident. In some cases that may be true but for the large majority of people, it really can be the little things.

Maybe you are a great parent, maybe you are good at staying calm in a situation, maybe you cook something really well.


It doesn't matter what it is as long as you feel good and confident doing it!

There is no "correct" confidence

Confidence is personal and internal to you. you cant just learn a series of behaviours and attributes that make you confident. You might fake it pretty convincingly but you wont BE it.

Learning confidence

Having discovered aspects of ourselves that are confident, we can then build on this. Take advantage of the situations that make you feel good and use that feeling to help propel you forwards.

Then push!!!

Start to slightly push your comfort zone and then overcome the natural nervousness and anxieties. Notice that you achieved more than  you thought you would and draw on that confidence.

Then push again!!!!

Anyone can learn

Seriously!! Anyone can learn to be confident.

Find out what negative thoughts are stopping you from being confident by downloading your FREE worksheet now


Discover which common negative thinking patterns you have.

The way we think has a huge impact on our mental health. If you are looking to overcome your anxiety or just improve your mental health then first you need to know what thoughts are making things worse.

This download gives you a list of the most common ways we think negatively. All you need to do is see which ones you do most.

Also, keep an eye on your emails! I will be sending you a really useful video that goes with this exercise.